Without sounding phony, inauthentic or sarcastic — I’m sure you’ve heard of the power of positive thinking. Positive Psychology is a very real thing. The more you focus on positivity, the more good stuff you see all around you. The more you focus on negativity, you guessed it, the more annoyances you see. You’ve probably heard the…

New social psychology research shows us how to avoid awkward conversations with strangers — I was at a wedding this weekend. It was a gorgeous ceremony on the top of a hill overlooking an expansive mountain range. We all processed up the path, Mama Mia style, following a bagpiper leading the way. …

So why am I worried you’re mad at me? — Are you talking about me behind my back? Am I paranoid and self-absorbed? I can’t help wondering if there’s a little edge to your voice. It feels like you’re distancing yourself, but it’s hard to know for sure. I suppose I could ask you, but I don’t think we’re close…

(And neither does time.) — I arrived at work 20 minutes early, hoping to get some paperwork done, return emails, and have a third cup of coffee. My office is a hot mess littered with piles of paperwork that I’ve been planning to sort through “once Covid is over,” whatever that means. But instead, I…

It’s easier than you think. — You know that feeling of freedom when your relationship is going well? Your mind is at rest, and you feel comfortable in your own skin and happy just to be together. Giving up is often the thing that brings you the joy you deserve. A happy relationship is void of…

Asked by a certified couples therapist. — When my couples therapy clients come to me for their assessment, their worst fear is that I’m going to tell them their relationship is doomed. This is never true. First off, I am much more diplomatic than that. But even more importantly, it’s up to you, not me, whether or…

#1 Words of affirmation. — Do you remember Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages? It was originally published in 1992 but today is still ranked #1 on Amazon in 3 categories (love, marriage, and relationships). I grabbed it off the shelf yesterday and started re-reading. Chapman puts forth the concept that falling in love…

Delight in your relationship by avoiding these 2 common mistakes. — Carson: “I can’t believe we’re having this fight again.” Jamie: “Seriously. All you have to do is talk to me respectfully and we wouldn’t be wasting yet another gorgeous Sunday afternoon fighting.” Carson: “What? You’re blaming me for this? How on earth am I supposed to respond when you accuse…

Here’s How to Fix It — Great communication, intimacy, trust, and commitment are all roads that lead back to the same goal: to enjoy a lifetime adventure together. A successful relationship isn’t the absence of pain; it’s the presence of joy. So often, people with the best intentions understand that “relationships are hard work,” and they…