How to Embrace Positivity in Your Relationship

Without sounding phony, inauthentic or sarcastic

Cover Design by Rodjie Ulanday

I’m sure you’ve heard of the power of positive thinking. Positive Psychology is a very real thing. The more you focus on positivity, the more good stuff you see all around you.

The more you focus on negativity, you guessed it, the more annoyances you see. You’ve probably heard the frequently quoted Gottman statistic that thriving relationships have a 20:1 positive to negative ratio. It’s true.

The problem is that it’s hard to force yourself to be positive when you’re just not feeling it. Most of the advice on this subject is very vague:

• Try to look at the bright side
• The grass is always greener
• Don’t take the good stuff for granted

I’m probably guilty of giving the same vague unhelpful advice.

It won’t work to just “be more positive.” In order to truly be in a spirit of gracious generosity, there needs to be a change in mindset so you don’t come across as phony at best, or sarcastic at worst.

The secret is to notice your mindset before you open your mouth to say something out loud.

• Step One: Catch yourself in an internal negative headspace.