Hi Zed! This is a great question and a great idea for another article you're inspiring me to write. Here's my 2 cents for what it's worth. if there is a fundamental issue that is not changing, it no longer becomes individual work, it becomes joint work with a third party to help the other person see that things really need to change. If the issue is a core need that is not changing, then that person might need to do some soul searching, not around how to be a better partner, but whether or not they are willing to stay in a relationship where this fundamental need is not being met. There's a great book called Radical Acceptance that addresses this dilema.

This article is really more for an audience of people who are fundamentally happy in their relationships and are not considering leaving. Hope this helps.